Last Day Of The Year
I thought about trying to do a Mayfly Project round-up of the year, but realised that it's been full of so much incident that I couldn't possibly do it justice.
One thing that has struck me is that 2003 has been a bad year for a huge number of people I know. It's been remarkable to note.
Anyway, in an attempt to categorise:
Work: Well, I'd call it a year of ups and downs. The very best endeavours sometimes come to nought no matter how hard you try or how strongly you believe in what you're doing. My feelings about not being my own boss any longer are still in a state of flux - the sheer relief of being in another job, with a bit of security and a chance to make something equally good, if very different, is over-riding any other analysis just at the moment. From the depths of despair to the pleasure of opportunity in about 24 hours is a bit much to take, really.
One thing I won't miss is having to deal with the worse client I've ever had to deal with. Someone I used to regard as a mate, and who turned into a malicious, vindictive and entirely unprofessional monster for no good reason we could see but that she'd begun to realise exactly how far out of her depth she is. You've got to feel at least a bit sorry for someone who goes on about how technically experienced they are and then keeps referring to HTML as 'the back end'. At least, you feel sorry for them until they start rubbishing your team behind your back in attempt to deflect people from their own performance.
Life: The above has had a significant impact. A general feeling of insecurity and uncertainty has hung over the whole year, pretty much. I've been pretty down, and distracted from what would usually have been my escape routes - hardly been to the cinema, never got back into the proper routine or rhythm to do the writing I'd like to, couldn't socialise as much as I wanted to - and wasn't much in the mood anyway - even the online places I used to haunt haven't seen much of me for months. I'm hoping that some of this can start to change now.
Blog: And again the impact of the first item was felt. I was distracted and even when present was brief and uninspired for much of the year. The lack of attention to parts of the site that I mentioned in connection with the redesign was a sign of the malaise. But I'm starting the new year with plans to turn a bunch of my ideas for online projects into reality at last, and also to revisit the ones I've been neglecting.
So the end of the year has coincided with the end of some pretty negative times, and the start of some hopefully positive ones. It's possible that all will go horribly awry, but equally possible that this was a thing that was meant to be.
To quote a certain Time Lord who's been mentioned here quite a bit in the last few months:
"Time will tell. It always does."
January 2nd, 2004 - 11:08
Good luck with ’04. I know ’03′s been pretty nightmarish, but it looks like it’s also laid a lot of positive groundwork for the coming year.
The loss/changing of friends is never fun – but again, normally seems to clear the way for something else, and normally something more profitable (in a non-materialistic sense), so fingers crossed.
Like the redesign too, by the way.