The L Word. And The M Word
Ok, it's time to come clean about some stuff. I've been waiting to be able to tell a couple of people personally before going more public with this, which I now have, so now I can.
I've mentioned that I'm attached these days, and that I'm very happy. I've mentioned the damn near perfect time we spent in Rye last weekend. I've even mentioned that I'm prepared to acknowledge that I was wrong about something (and that never happens).
A couple of people have joined the dots, but just to get explicit:
I am utterly, passionately, unashamedly and overwhelmingly in love.
This is not an admission I expected to make any time soon - you all know how cynical I am about life generally and relationships in particular, but here I am.
In many ways, and for many actually very good reasons, I'd settled to regard myself as one of life's 'designed-to-be-single' people. I've been quite damaged emotionally over the years, in ways that stem from both previous relationships and earlier experiences, and I'd reached the conclusion that I was in fact too damaged to feel the good emotions again. And I was at least resigned to the consequences of that, and really even okay with them.
An experience I had recently when a perfectly delightful young man and I started getting on very well, which I had to end when I realised that I simply didn't/couldn't feel a greater emotional connection to him than that of friendship (you know who you are - sorry again), reinforced in me the fact that somewhere inside, I wasn't capable of being in love for real.
But I was wrong. And now I want to shout it from the rooftops. He's my man, and I'm his. And I don't ever want that to change. Me: Cynical git, misanthrope and all-round pessimist. Except I'm not any more, because he makes me be better than that.
And the thing that I was wrong about? Read this and then come back to watch me eat my words.
Done? Then I'll admit it: Over dinner at the weekend, I found myself starting a sentence and only realising as I did what the only possible next sentence was going to be. Sentence one was that I couldn't think of any reason why I wouldn't want what I'm feeling right now to last forever, and that I could actually think of a lot of very good reasons why I'd rather it did.
Sentence two therefore involved me asking him to marry me.
And he said yes.
And yes, I still think on some level that it would be better that we don't ape heterosexual conventions and create our own, but I want us to be recognised with the same validity as a straight couple would be. And given the state of the law in the UK it's going to be a *long* engagement. But we'll wait.
I don't recognise myself at the moment, but whoever I am, he's a big improvement.
GMail
Been meaning to mention that I managed to get myself a Gmail account, and I'm slowly but surely starting to migrate my personal mail over to it. I have invitations to give away too if anyone wants an account of their own, so if so, let me know.
Dr Oooh!
I've gone a bit quiet on the subject of the new Dr Who series, filming for which has now started, and which is provoking unseemly levels of excitement in my beloved. But I did want to note that some of the photos that are doing the rounds actually deserve to be shared.
I posted the following on Millarworld and provoked all sorts of girlish squealing from even the most manly of the gang. Autons ahoy!:
And this:
provoked a very very girly squeal of "It's the Tardis! IT'S THE TARDIS!"
The Passing Of The Years
As some of you know, I traditionally have drinks to mark my birthday the Friday immediately after it. This year, however, that will be the day before Dave and Octavia's wedding, and I think that might be a very, very bad idea.
I'm going away the weekend after that, so for this year, I'm bringing the occasion forward a week. Friday 3rd September will therefore be the designated day.
The venue will be the same as last year, and anyone who was there for that is welcome again. Likewise if anyone would like to come along for the first time, please drop me a line and I'll let you have the details.
Just a bit of advance notice for your diaries.
Eating My Words
It's a strange thing to have to read back on one's own comments on a subject, held with such conviction for so long, and realise that one's viewpoint has flipped 180 degrees.
And yet it's important to be willing to stand up and acknowledge that one is willing to change one's opinion based on new information or experience. Which I now do without reservation.
What subject?
Hah! You don't think I'm going to come out and admit what I was wrong about, do you????
Best. Weekend. Ever
So chilled. Great weather, great location (Rye - always a special place anyway), stayed in a wonderful hotel, wandered around without having or needing a plan, ate great food, drove through gorgeous English countryside, and found something amazingly special going on in my life is actually even better than I thought it was.
I'm feeling *very* good right now.
Weekending
In the verbal sense: I'll be weekending out of town from this afternoon.
I'm *really* looking forward to it - I know I was away last weekend, but that was Dave's stag do, and I spent half of it being fraught about whether things were going okay and, well, being me, basically.
This one is going to be different. This one involves a four-poster bed, (from which, for a change, I have no reason to emerge at any point before I actually want to); the chance to explore some beautiful English countryside; the promise of fine weather; the prospect of cementing the new relationship still further; and hopefully more besides.
This is the kind of weekend I don't have often enough, and which I'm determined to make more time for.
Update when I get back.
Moon
Meanwhile, in keeping with a certain 'over the moon' sentiment that seems to be in the air Chez Moi, Dave has pointed me towards two sets of cleaned-up photos from the Apollo 11 mission:
Attached
So you may have missed a passing reference the other day to the fact that I'm seeing someone. And in case you did, it seems I ought to be more overt.
Yes, I'm all relationshippy. And very happy. Get me talking about the subject of my relationship and watch the stupidest grin you've ever seen hit my face. Life shouldn't be this good.
I'm having a seriously hard time maintaining my proper cynical bastard exterior.
Does Whatever A Spider Can
Can't believe I forgot to mention that I finally saw Spider-Man 2 last night.
And the amount of delirious fanboy gushing was avery bit as significant as predicted.
What a *brilliant* film.