More A Way Of Life… Look, this is just between you and me

And On The Subject of Hotels

I feel qualified to make a few observations:

1. The practice of having someone come in and 'turn down' my bed is the single weirdest thing I've ever come across.  The chocolate on the pillow is just the punctuation mark on the weirdness.
2. If you need to fold the ends of the toilet roll into a point to make sure I know you've serviced my room, then there's something wrong with the way you service a room.
3. It doesn't matter how many packets of non-dairy creamer you put in my room, I'm never, ever, going to use your tea and coffee making facilities if there's no milk to put in the product.
4. Minibar prices are by definition criminal.
5. No human being can possibly need that many pillows.
6. The cheap-and-nastiness of the complimentary toiletries is always in inverse proportion to the amount of them hotels provide.
7. Room rates provided on booking that don't include all relevant taxes are evil and ought to be illegal.
8. Good looking hotel staff who visit your room for any reason never make the kind of offers porn movies might lead you to expect.
9. The opposite of point 8 is inevitably true.