Evil Junk Mail

Real, not e-mail, that is.

I received a letter yesterday that looked quite official - pre-paid, window envelope, my full name and address used, couldn't work out what it was.

When I opened it, the first two words to hit me were 'Mortgage' and 'Demand', with the latter in bright red, underlined text about three times the point size of any of the text around it.

And even though I know that my mortgage is paid up to date, and no one should be demanding anything of me, just for a moment, I panicked. I really thought "shit - I've somehow been underpaying, or something's gone wrong with my direct debit, or *something*!"

In the few seconds it took me to take in the rest of the content, I went through a shedload of potential crisis scenarios, each one worse than the last.

Then I realised it was just a piece of junk mail marketing crap:

"Demand the best mortgage for you".

Fuckers. There ought to be a law against that kind of thing.

County Mortgage Services, I name and shame you.

Posted on June 6, 2003 10:05 AM

I got some similar mail shot, felt the same palpitations and binned it. I wished later I had been more pro-active - I often wonder how more vulnerable people would react.

Posted by Gert on June 6, 2003 10:18 AM

i thought there was some protection against this kind of thing...

Posted by dave on June 6, 2003 10:26 AM

As entering competitions is one of my hobbies, I'm pretty well educated in those 'You Have DEFINITELY Won A Prize' scams. If you don't enter competitions, PLEASE read the terms and conditions carefully. You NEVER have to pay anything to claim/receive a genuine prize. Trust me, the most you will ever win are those dreaded Holiday Vouchers which need you to spend money to use them. And that's if you're lucky. They now use text messages for this kind of scheme too, and charge you extortionate amounts to call them to discover your 'prize'. Often they are worded in such a way as to confuse/tempt the vulnerable/greedy. Don't fall for it. If you do, I suspect you deserve to be conned.

I'm getting all verbose in my old age!

Posted by trudi on June 6, 2003 02:18 PM

hehe, yes. I received one of those luverrly texts the other day, and went and checked the terms and conditions first. Frankly they're all bastards!!

Posted by Mike on June 6, 2003 03:49 PM

Email is one thing, but you can make a difference if you receive an irritating amount of junk in the post. Registering with the Mail Preference Service was something I tried in order to combat the nonsense that I was receiving. I was skeptical from the outset, but did so upon assurance that it was worthwhile. Within five months or so, I started to miss my junk mail - in a fashion - but I'm glad to be rid of it. They even have a section where you can specifically stop companies from sending you baby-related junk mail. Bizarre, but it must be a problem for many.

Posted by Stairs on June 6, 2003 08:43 PM

Judging by the tone of the "Baby MPS" page, it's probably for those parents whose child has passed on unexpectedly. As mails are addressed to the parents, the opt-out procedure needs to be a little different.

Posted by chris on June 7, 2003 01:07 AM

By the way, that's the best link I've seen in ages - everyone should know about MPS!

Posted by chris on June 7, 2003 01:15 AM

Chris, you're right - the Baby MPS was created mainly for proto-parents who'd lost their child through miscarriage etc. A lot of proto-parents sign up for all sorts of shite with Mothercare, Pampers, whatever, so they can get samples and blah blah blah - of course they also then end up on the mailing lists, and can then end up traumatised (etc etc) by mailing stuff reminding of them of the sproglet that is no more ( ™ )

I know far too much about far too many irrelevant things...

Posted by Lyle on June 7, 2003 03:15 PM

The vast majority of direct marketing stuff arrives after the baby is born. Hospitals provide new mums with "bounty packs" containing all sorts of useful baby products in exchange for your handy marketing details, after which you get lots of baby-related mailshots (funnily enough!). But at least they're more useful than the loan-related junk I passionately hate...

Posted by chris on June 7, 2003 05:58 PM

What do you think? (Comments must be approved before they will appear.)