The L Word. And The M Word

Ok, it's time to come clean about some stuff. I've been waiting to be able to tell a couple of people personally before going more public with this, which I now have, so now I can.

I've mentioned that I'm attached these days, and that I'm very happy. I've mentioned the damn near perfect time we spent in Rye last weekend. I've even mentioned that I'm prepared to acknowledge that I was wrong about something (and that never happens).

A couple of people have joined the dots, but just to get explicit:

I am utterly, passionately, unashamedly and overwhelmingly in love.

This is not an admission I expected to make any time soon - you all know how cynical I am about life generally and relationships in particular, but here I am.

In many ways, and for many actually very good reasons, I'd settled to regard myself as one of life's 'designed-to-be-single' people. I've been quite damaged emotionally over the years, in ways that stem from both previous relationships and earlier experiences, and I'd reached the conclusion that I was in fact too damaged to feel the good emotions again. And I was at least resigned to the consequences of that, and really even okay with them.

An experience I had recently when a perfectly delightful young man and I started getting on very well, which I had to end when I realised that I simply didn't/couldn't feel a greater emotional connection to him than that of friendship (you know who you are - sorry again), reinforced in me the fact that somewhere inside, I wasn't capable of being in love for real.

But I was wrong. And now I want to shout it from the rooftops. He's my man, and I'm his. And I don't ever want that to change. Me: Cynical git, misanthrope and all-round pessimist. Except I'm not any more, because he makes me be better than that.

And the thing that I was wrong about? Read this and then come back to watch me eat my words.

Done? Then I'll admit it: Over dinner at the weekend, I found myself starting a sentence and only realising as I did what the only possible next sentence was going to be. Sentence one was that I couldn't think of any reason why I wouldn't want what I'm feeling right now to last forever, and that I could actually think of a lot of very good reasons why I'd rather it did.

Sentence two therefore involved me asking him to marry me.

And he said yes.

And yes, I still think on some level that it would be better that we don't ape heterosexual conventions and create our own, but I want us to be recognised with the same validity as a straight couple would be. And given the state of the law in the UK it's going to be a *long* engagement. But we'll wait.

I don't recognise myself at the moment, but whoever I am, he's a big improvement.

Posted on July 28, 2004 11:12 AM

Wonderful :o) Life rarely turns out as we expect! I understand your point about 'aping a heterosexual convention' but this is the 21st century and something needs to be done. Ok, so marriage is perhaps a heterosexual convention but it's about time it changed. Having been married and divorced twice it is starkly apparent to me that marriage has changed considerably thus far and religious beliefs and acceptance in many has changed along with it.
No doubt some 'religious pundits' would beg to differ but I find their arguements unacceptable. A homosexual couple should be afforded the same respect and rights as any other.

Posted by gemmak on July 28, 2004 11:31 AM

Hi Jon.
And O.M.G...
that I really didn't expect.
Wonderful news...and many many congratulations.
xxxxx

Posted by Pete on July 28, 2004 03:53 PM

Congratulations! What fantastic (and surprising) news. I'd like to wish you both every happiness together.

Posted by Owen on July 28, 2004 04:50 PM

'kin 'ell. You mean I was right? Gabberflasted.

Seriously, many many congrats - and all the best with the long engagement and everything else. Go you! :¬)

Posted by Lyle on July 28, 2004 05:13 PM

w00t!

Congratulations!

Hurrah!

Posted by chris on July 28, 2004 11:16 PM

Yay! Happy days! Congrats Jon!!!

Posted by Rufus on July 29, 2004 07:42 AM

Congratulations.
The only problem with the 'getting married' bit is, who to have as bridesmaids.

Posted by terreus on July 30, 2004 01:01 AM

many congratulations jon

Posted by snowcat on July 31, 2004 10:35 AM

It's that time of year... snap mister. Congratulations for both of us.

Posted by darian on August 3, 2004 07:41 PM

warmest congratulations petal!

Posted by Trudi on August 4, 2004 12:10 PM

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